30 Funniest NFL Quotes

Every sport has a silly Pundit. Gary Neville has already had his fair share of humorous gaffs and quotes. The Olympics offered more questionable analysis this summer that went viral. It is not only those commentating on the sport that are gaff prone. The players come out with some real clangers too.  So, surely there must be some real gems in the NFL? I went searching and discovered that when you have a sport where people get beaten around the head; there will be some odd quotes as a result…

  1. “I’ve been big ever since I was little” – William ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry
  2. “Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90% temper and 10% mental” – Doug Plank
  3. “I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid” – Terry Bradshaw
  4. “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Joe Theismann
  5. “People say I’ll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.” – Craig Heyward
  6. “I’m a firm believer that all sports will eventually be global. Someday, we may have a quarterback from China named Yao Fling.” – Paul Tagliablue
  7.  “I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that.” – Jerry Rice
  8. “I’m travelling to all 51 States to see who can stop 85” – Chad Ochocinco/Johnson
  9. “The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract” – Spider Lockhart
  10. “We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.” – Bruce Coslet
  11. “I never graduated college, but I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s” – Alex Karras
  12. “I love me some me.” – Terrell Owens
  13. “Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can’t play football worth a damn.” – John McKay
  14. “Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.” – Don Shula
  15. “I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating” – Jim Fink
  16. “I don’t know if I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf.” – Joe Namath
  17. “If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I’ll know I died in good health.” – Bum Phillips
  18. “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards. Whichever comes first” – George Rogers
  19.  “If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn’t the same as the one I was wearing, I’d run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.” – Bo Jackson
  20. “Most of my clichés aren’t original.” – Chuck Knox
  21. “I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was important — like a league game.” – Dick Butkus
  22. “It’s like my ex-wife. 21 different personalities and seven of them hated me.” – Jack Rose
  23. “Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record.” – Emmitt Smith
  24. “Tell Ray to put the eyeliner, the lipstick and the high heels away. I’m not saying he’s a cross-dresser, that’s just what I heard.” – Shannon Sharpe
  25. “I have 2 weapons; my arms, my legs and my brain.” – Michael Vick
  26. “If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year?” – Duane Thomas
  27. “We’re going to start with the injury report, obviously. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett — all those guys will not play. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus.” – Rex Ryan
  28. “Defensively, I think it’s important for us to tackle.” – Karl Mecklenburg
  29. “Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they’re bigger than everybody else, and that’s what makes them the biggest guys on the field.” – John Madden
  30. “It isn’t like I came down from Mount Sinai with the tabloids.” – Ron Meyer